How to Speak Like an American 101

Welcome to the "How to Speak Like an American" lesson 101, with your host, Frau 'Fessor Kerby.

Today's lesson began with the introduction of a new chapter in 3F about vampires. Considering the cult following that the Twilight series has, of every girl in my school, and the timeliness of this new lesson (New Moon opens soon, I think...), it was only appropriate begin with a listen and repeat exercise. Thanks to a section in the book, I introduced new vocabulary to the students by saying the word, and having them repeat me. I pointed to the first picture and said, "Repeat after me. Vampire." The students repeat, "WAMpire." I said, "No. The "V" makes a "vvvv" sound. Vampire." The students repeat,"WAMpire." Again: "No. The "V" does not make a "www" sound, but a "vvvvvvvvvvvvvv" sound. Like this: (*insert EXTRA emphasis on the "V" here*) VAMpire." The students reply: "WAMpire." O.M.G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think my head was going to explode!!!!!! The "vvvvvv" sound exists in the German language. It does. I know this. But some how, some way, many native German speakers (including every student in 3F) confuse the sound of the "V" with a sound of a "W". Not only is the word "vampire" a problem, but so is "vacation" and "very" and "visit". It always ends up "wacation", "wery" and "wisit". UGH. It was, therefore, my mission today to end this epidemic.

I said, "No. The way you make the "VVVVVV" sound is by putting your front teeth on your bottom lip. Like this: "vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv". (Ok, I realize this was major over emphasis, but come on. Whatever I was doing was not working up until this point.) Students respond: "VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV"!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! The seas part, and angels sing! THEY GOT IT! Then I said, "GREAT! You got it! Ok, now say "VVVAMpire." And the students respond, "VVVAMpire"!!! YAY!!!! It worked. We said it about 5 more times, and whew! They got it.

Then we moved on to garlic. Hahaha! You wouldn't think that wouldn't be so hard, but these students are more or less only exposed to British English, and well, I don't pronounce things the British way (obviously, since I'm not British!!!), and I made them get a hard "R" in gaRlic, and not say "Gaaaaaarlic" with a soft "r". It's like being a pirate, I said. Aaaarrrrgggg!


*After that lovely WAMpire interaction, we moved on to creating a storing about the WAMpire. As the students were working on them, I went around and helped them, and had them read me their stories. Whenever the word vampire came up, and they pronounced 'W' instead of 'V', I said, "Excuse me, but who? -or- "A what?" and they would then say, "VVVampire!" And it was a great running joke the whole lesson. However, I am certain that they will, from here on out, remember how to say it correctly. VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!